


Look Right Past Me

by WilMesa



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Beaches, Dysphoria, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Trans Character, Walks On The Beach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-04
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:54:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29191134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WilMesa/pseuds/WilMesa
Summary: "I've never been a huge fan of the ocean."How was he supposed to tell him that he's loved the ocean ever since he was a little kid, it was another white lie to help him? That he loved Bokuto so much more than he'd ever love the stupid ocean?Haikyuu!! Trans Week Day 3: beach
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Kudos: 26
Collections: Haikyuu!! Trans Week





	Look Right Past Me

Fukurodani wasn't the type of team to do random, off court bonding exercises. Besides, they got along great during games, and that was what was really important.

"I still don't get why we're here," muttered Onaga.

"Hey, not like we're complaining though!" Kohona retaliated.

It was true, they didn't usually all hang out together outside of matches or school. Aside from the occasional training camp, it was rare to see all of them together. Yet here they were, eleven in the morning, on an almost completely empty beach hours away from home. It wasn't truly one person's suggestion- Akaashi had made a 'joke' about Bokuto needing a beach episode, to which the latter excitedly agreed. It didn't help that Komi and Konoha were encouraging him nonstop, either.

When they actually arrived, however, his mood quickly dropped.

"Aghaaaaashi!"

Bokuto had waited until the rest of the team walked ahead, towels and chairs in hand. He had something to tell Akaashi.

"Yes, Bokuto-san?"

He turned to face the captain. The one who had persisted on taking the trip all the way to the coast, the one so easily excitable- who was hanging his head and slouched inches below Akaashi's height.

The ace turned to meet his gaze. Akaashi was staring, patiently and kindly. "I don't want anyone to see me today."

Oh, Bokuto. He was so cool and confident, so bold with every move he made. If Akaashi didn't know him, he'd be terrified right now. To see someone's mood change so quickly.

But this was his Bokuto, and their years of friendship had taught him the extreme ups and downs of his feelings. Even if he saw it coming from a mile away, it would still break his heart every time.

And it did.

For as many weaknesses as Bokuto had, Akaashi, who appeared comparably more quiet and timid, had only one. Bokuto himself.

"Bokuto-san..."

"Can we go back home now?"

Akaashi mentally prepared himself to speak. Most things with Bokuto were a sensitive topic, and Akaashi didn't want to make him feel worse than he already did.

"Look, Bokuto-san, there are hardly any people here. The only people that'll even be near us are the team."

"I can't let the team see them!"

It wasn't as if the team didn't know. On rare days, Bokuto would show off the two crescent scars on his chest with great pride, allowing his entire team and more to look. Fukurodani was very supportive of him. He gave them a name, and no one had any reason to give him shit about it. Even if he met someone who didn't agree with it, knowing him, he'd probably be able to change their mind.

Taking a few seconds to think, Akaashi led his friend over a few steps toward the water.

"You and me can go over there," he pointed vaguely in the distance, "you can still yell to the team if you want, but no one will be able to see you. We don't even have to go in the water, so you can keep your shirt on."

"No! Akaashi! You need to have fun with everyone else! I can't make you take care of me all day, just because I'm a big baby-"

"Bokuto-san, you're not _making_ me do anything. I want to be by your side." The cheesy line made him cringe internally a little bit, but it seemed to work.

"You have to at least go in the water a little!"

"I'll stay with you. I've never been a huge fan of the ocean."

How was he supposed to tell him that he's loved the ocean ever since he was a little kid, it was another white lie to help him? That he loved Bokuto so much more than he'd ever love the stupid ocean?

...

The duo hung behind again as the rest of the team dried their hair and got the excess sand out of their shoes. Since it would take a few hours to get home, they decided to stay at a cheap motel for the night. They would make a weekend out of it, choosing to stay and explore the unfamiliar area before returning to Tokyo the next morning.

After a few hours spent around the various shops and attractions, the club decided to call it a day. Akaashi got Bokuto's attention and spoke to him quietly.

"Are you sure you're okay sharing a room with everyone?"

Bokuto gave him a sideways smile. "I'm okay, Akaashi." Akaashi found his lopsided grin heartwarming, and quickly turned away to prevent any more unwanted thoughts.

Just as Akaashi finished brushing his teeth, he caught Bokuto slipping outside with his shoes. He sighed, figuring he probably wouldn't be going to bed as early as he'd hoped.

"Bokuto-san, what are you doing?"

"Aghaashiiii!" Bokuto grinned.

"The team is all getting ready for bed soon, we should-"

"Let's go back to the beach!"

Akaashi looked quizzically back at him. "Bokuto-san, we did that earlier, remember?"

"Yeah yeah, but I was all sad and tired then! Now we can go to the beach for real!" With that, he turned around and grabbed the only two unused beach towels, kicking Akaashi's shoes toward him.

"What happened to not wanted anyone to see you today?" he inquired.

"I still don't! But when it's you, I don't mind."

"O-oh." If Akaashi hadn't made up his mind before, he certainly had now. The way Bokuto said it with such confidence and a straight face made his face hot; a clear contrast with the evening air.

Beginning their walk, they fell into a strange silence. It definitely wasnt uncomfortable, but it was far from normal at the same time. They arrived at the same sandy shore they spent their time at earlier in the day, but this time, Bokuto was quick to undress.

He threw his sandals and shirt into a messy heap where the wet sand met the dry. Akaashi was careful to set the towels neatly on his own shirt, as to not get them sandy. He followed Bokuto, who had already splashed his way into the ocean.

"Wooo! Aghaashi!"

"It's kind of freezing, isn't it?"

"Only a little!"

Despite Akaashi's warnings not to go out past their waists, Bokuto ended up in the water almost up to his neck. And Akaashi, of course, couldn't resist following him.

"Bokuto-san, it's way too cold to be so far out. It's dangerous enough as it is out here."

"Awe, I forgot wittle Akaashi is scawed of the ocean!"

Bokuto picked Akaashi up in a huge embrace, the high waters making him use very little effort. Although Akaashi knew it was just so he'd warm up and stop complaining, it still felt nice, so he didn't resist much.

"I'm not scared of the ocean. Who even told you that?"

"You said you don't like it. Why else would it be?"

_If_ _I_ _was_ _out_ _in the ocean while you were stuck on land, there_ _would_ _be nothing to enjoy about it._

Unsure of how to put the intimate thought into words, he kept quiet. Bokuto picked up on this, releasing his grip a bit.

"Yeah, we should go back up to the beach now. It's getting pretty chilly in the water."

Bokuto's tone was noticeably different, Akaashi was just hoping his silence didn't upset him. The two let each other go, using their full bodies to push through the sea until they were able to wade up to their towels.

By the time he was dry enough to retrieve his shirt, Bokuto had the light back in his eyes. "It's still warm up here, we should go for a walk!"

Akaashi nodded. "That would be nice. The sky looks really beautiful all the way out here," he added as they turned to trek along the shore.

"Mhmm. I can see the stars a lot clearer than in Tokyo!"

They continued their walk in silence for a bit, only broken when one found a particularly pretty shell, or the occasional crab burrowing back into the sand.

Akaashi bent down to pick up a small orange spiral, the color almost certainly matching the hair of Karasuno's rookie. He turned to show his friend, his friend who wasnt smiling.

Bokuto stared blankly ahead, his glossy eyes fixated on a specific point of nothingness. The twisted shell was immediately discarded, as Akaashi planted both his hands firmly on Bokuto's shoulders.

"Bokuto-san? What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Akaashi. I shouldn't have dragged you all the way out here."

"Bokuto-san, I don't know what you're talking about. I wouldn't have come all this way just because I felt pressured."

"I know you wanted to go swimming earlier. I'm sorry I made you waste your time up on the beach with me."

He let the tears fall freely now, the sand between his feet stained.

"Hey, I'm not sure what made you think that, but it wasn't a big deal. Seriously, Bokuto, I didn't mind."

"I-if you didn't stay with me, you knew I would've been sad all day, and the whole t-team would've gotten mad at me again!"

"Bokuto, no one on the team has ever been mad at you." Akaashi let Bokuto's head fall to his shoulder as he pulled him into a hug. "It's because we worry about you. No one is every angry, just worried. It hurts us to see you so upset."

Having been met with silence (save for the quiet, occasional sob), he continued.

"Yes, I knew you would be upset if I ditched you. But I stayed because you're my friend, the stupid ocean has nothing on that." He felt Bokuto laugh a little, and kept going. "You would've done the same for me. Hell, any one of our teammates would've done it for you too. We all love you. I love you."

There was nothing more to be said. Of course, they both knew it all along, but hearing the words outloud made it that much realer.

"Aghaashiii," he mumbled as he finally calmed down.

"Yes, Bokuto-san?"

"You love me?"

Akaashi felt a smile tug at his lips. "Yes, Bokuto-san."

"I love you too!"

If possible, they would've pulled each other even closer than before. This wasn't a big, dramatic moment like Akaashi had imagined (knowing Bokuto), but it was perfect. They were right where they belonged, in each others' arms like that.

He wouldn't have it any other way.

**Author's Note:**

> Writing every day is tiring. It's only day three
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoyed :)


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